


The Guitar Pick

by CartoonJessie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, wickedlywonderfulweekofreylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When legendary guitarist Chewbacca throws out his guitar pick at the end of the concert of the Millennium Falcons, Rey almost catches it. Almost, for it is picked up from the floor right underneath her nose. Determined to get that guitar pick one way or another, she follows the tall and dark stranger that now holds her trophy in his hand, determined to offer him a deal he can't refuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Guitar Pick

A thousand people are gathered in a tiny area. They bump into each other as they sway and rock to the music. The ground is sticky from alcohol and sugary soft drinks. The familiar stench of sweat and beer hangs in the room. Everyone has an annoying bleep in their ears. It's not like concert halls ever respect what is healthy for the human ear anyway. 

The people in front of her have stood on her feet at least half a dozen times, but she doesn't mind.

Rey is having the time of her life. She is a witness to a concert of the Millennium Falcons, and she could not be happier. Never before did they come to her city, and never before did she see them live. And yes, part of her regrets never getting to see the original band, but another part of her is so grateful for finally seeing her idols. She realizes that the concert is nearly over by recognizing the first notes of "Trash Compactor", one of the band's first hits. She knows what is to come. Chewbacca, the band's hairy guitar player, will toss out his picks, and she knows she is in a good spot to catch them. There are about four rows of people in front of her, and she is located in the middle. If she gets it - and she prays to God she will - then she will frame it and put it on her shrine. Though she does not easily admit it to strangers, she has a shrine for her favorite band, and she could not be prouder of it. 

Chewbacca is nearing the end of his solo. She knows it is going to happen now - any second. Her hands are sweaty - not just from the heat in the hall. This would make her year - her life, perhaps. Getting this trophy would be the best thing to ever happen to her. The moment of truth arrives. Chewbacca tosses his guitar pick in the air - Rey does not loose sight of it. It's heading her way! She stretches out her hand - she feels the metal and can imagine it to feel warm from Chewbacca's touch. She almost screams of joy, then realizes the pick bounces back. It falls. Rey's heartbeat goes up, she bends over as fast as she can - but there is another hand there - a much larger one - grabbing the pick off the floor before she has a chance to. 

The hand is so fast that it's already gone by the time Rey wants to grab hold of it and pry it open. She reminds herself she is not an animal and that she does not need to respond in such a primal way. She can ask this person to give her the pick - maybe he will understand her plea. As she gets up again, she realizes he has already turned his back on her - he is already heading to the exit! 

She heads after him, her heart pounding as she realizes she is going to miss the encore numbers. But she has her eyes set on that pick, and she has no stomach for giving up. That simply isn't in her nature.

She hasn't even seen the man's face. He is wearing a black hoodie - not even a band hoodie - and Rey feels slightly insulted. At least she has her Millennium Falcons shirt on, and earrings in the shape of their logo. She can't imagine him to be a bigger fan than she is. _Nobody is_ , she thinks bitterly to herself.

As they leave the concert hall, Rey realizes how deaf she is. She can hardly hear anything. Just great. She hopes he can at least hear her.

She is able to catch up with him and gently touches his shoulder. 

"Excuse me?"

He hasn't heard her - nor has he felt her touch. She grabs hold of his sweater and tugs gently. He turns to her in surprise, his eyes wide, almost as though he is caught in a crime. 

Rey takes him in for a moment. She already noticed he was tall, but the sight of his long face takes her breath away. She isn't even sure why. There is no conventional beauty in it. His lips are big, his jaw weak, his nose long - probably too long by today's beauty standards. He has beauty marks - but so many of them that it almost becomes distracting - and she is at a loss for words. When he licks his lips, waiting for her to say something, she struggles to grasp the concept of language - and wonders how a person is supposed to talk. Did she ever learn how to? She doubts that now. 

He blushes too, but she doesn't notice that.

"Excuse me..." Her voice sounds alien to her own ears. She isn't sure if that's because she is half-deaf or for another reason she can't grasp just yet. "Sorry to ask, but I was wondering if I could get your guitar pick?"

She looks at him as sweetly as she can, hoping she is able to melt his heart with her gaze alone.

Unfortunately, she is never successful when it comes to begging people for favors. This time is no different. In fact, it is a little bit worse for she suddenly realizes how beautiful his eyes are. Are they brown or green? A bit of both? Whatever they are, she is mesmerized. 

"No," he replies immediately, his voice cold, though he sounds sincere when he adds: "Sorry."

Rey's mind races, but the man already turns around and heads towards the exit of the venue. 

The band is still playing. 

For a second Rey is petrified. She can go back and watch her favorite band perform the last songs she will witness in her lifetime, or she can try to convince the stranger to give her the pick.

For reasons that are beyond her own comprehension, she follows the tall stranger outside.

 

 

She is a nervous babbler.

Kylo looks at her from the corner of his eye as they head over the sidewalk, and he makes sure to pay attention to the roads before he crosses them. He knows she isn't paying attention at all. She's only paying attention to him, and he has never felt more watched.

"...so I'm just saying, I will probably never get a chance to see them again in my lifetime and I don't think I'll ever have the opportunity to get one of their picks."

She has just finished telling him how hard she has worked to pay for the tickets and how glad she was that she managed to get tickets in the first place - especially considering the fact that they were sold out in less than ten minutes. She actually took a day off to make sure she was behind her laptop when the ticket sales opened. 

He is not sure whether he should admire her or pity her. Clearly, she is very dedicated to the band. He recognizes the shirt and the earrings straight away. He wonders if she dresses like that during all other days of the year as well. 

But honestly, he does not know how to respond to her plea. He has already said no. 

"I know you picked up the pick fair and square, and I do realize how rude I probably must seem by bothering you now," she continues. "I just... I feel like I'm not able to express how much it would mean to me if you were to give me Chewbacca's pick. You see... I'm an orphan."

He does not know how to respond. He pities her for being an orphan. He's not sure how old she is. Probably somewhere between seventeen and twenty-three. Too young to be without parents, he feels. But it does not change his will to give her the pick.

"I have been since I was eight," she continues now, and she does seem to grow a little quieter. "My mother died when I was four. My father when I was eight. They met at a concert of the Millennium Falcons in London. Their first concert outside of the United States, actually. In 1981."

Kylo feels a twitch in his heart. He realizes she isn't just a crazy fangirl. She is trying to do right by her parents. He almost hands her the pick. _Almost._

"I'm so sorry," he says softly.

She waits for a moment, and he knows that she is expecting him to say more, perhaps to give her the pick, but he doesn't.

"My parents weren't rich. They didn't leave me with much. I didn't have a family, so I ended up in an orphanage," she continues, and for a moment he wonders if she is making it all up to win his sympathy. Maybe she is just a crazy fangirl after all. But her tone is too sincere and the gaze in her eyes is too sad. There are no lies in her words, and he feels like she is trusting him with some of her deepest secrets. "I inherited their LP's," she continued. "And their record-player, though that one broke when I was sixteen. When I listen to the Millennium Falcons, it almost feels like they're with me again. It's all I have of them, and a few pictures of them. All the rest got sold. I'm not rich, I have had no decent education and I can't afford to travel to the States to see them. This is the first time they've played in Bristol - ever - and I don't think I'll ever see them again. We all know their next tour is probably going to be a farewell tour. They've been at it for over thirty years..."

He feels horrible. He is contemplating giving her the pick - he honestly is - but he can't. The only reason he went to the concert was to get that pick. 

"Please?" she begs him now. She has picked up on his compassion for her. 

He curses himself. Just his luck to run into someone like her. She is lovely, but he wishes they had met under different circumstances. Right now, he is convinced he has to be the biggest asshole she has ever met. 

"I don't have much money, but you can have it," she offers then, and he immediately shakes his head.

"I have no need for money," he says quickly.

"Something else?" she asks, and she pauses. He does not know what is going through her mind until she suddenly says: "I will sleep with you."

He freezes in his steps for a moment. It feels like his mind is going to blow, and at the realization of what she just said, he lets out a dorky laugh, incredibly amused by her offer all of a sudden.

"You would sleep with me? For a silly guitar pick?" 

As he looks at her, he sees she is nearly crying, and he suddenly feels terrible for laughing at her offer. 

"It's not silly for me," she replies, tears in her eyes. 

His heart aches for her. "You should never sleep with anyone for anything other than love," he replies, his voice softer than ever before. Remembering some lyrics, he slowly recites them:

" _Don't accept chains._

_Don't let them change you._

_Your mind is your own._

_They'll say your body is not._

_I know it's not your fault._

_You can't stop those who take it._

  
_But beautiful as it may be..._ "

She softly interrupts him, saying the lyrics like he does, without melody, but knowing every note by heart: 

" _You will feel dirty if wrong hands fall on you._

  
_I know it's not your fault._ "

She is looking at the ground, and he feels so incredibly sorry for her. She knows these lyrics as well as he does - she knows what it's about - and she feels as badly as anyone else does at remembering that song. It's one of those songs that is never performed live. Simply because it is too painful - for everyone. 

" _I know it's not your fault. I'll never blame you_ ," he adds finally, hoping that she understands that he does not judge her for what she said, but also hoping that she understands that offering cheap sex has the power to change her, and judging from her reaction, he figures that she is not that type of girl at all. 

"I usually don't..."

"I know," he interrupts her quickly. "You're really desperate for this pick."

It has been in his hand all along, but still he does not give it to her. 

He holds out his other hand all of a sudden, and she looks at it with a slightly suspicious gaze.

"I can't give you the pick," he says. "I fucked up too badly and I need to make amends. But I want to show you why. Please come with me."

He sees how she hesitates, then takes his hand, and he lets out a sigh of relief when her hand wraps around his.

"I don't think you're going to like me when you see what I've done."

 

They walk by each other's side in complete silence. 

She is lost in thought, remembering the song he just recited to her. It's a horrible song - a brilliant one - but the most emotional of all the songs by the Millennium Falcons. Written in 1983, about the girlfriend of the lead singer of that time - Han Solo -  about the girl when she had been kidnapped by a gang of criminals led by a certain Jabba the Hutt. The song is called Jabba's chains, and it's about Leia Organa, who was wed to Han Solo for well over a decade after those events. They grew apart when Han was touring the world and she started investing more time in her political career. 

She knows the band too well not to know those details, even though that drama took place before she was even born. Her parents never told her the truth about the song. She learned as a teenager, and was distraught for weeks as she realized what it was about. Before it had just been another sad song, but when she had learned what it was about, it had become truly heartbreaking.

Though she will not admit it to him, she is intrigued by the young man whose hand she is holding, and she wonders who he is and where they are going. She does not ask questions though, feeling like he is too solemn for small-talk - too focused on where they are headed. They remain on the busy streets, and not a single moment does she fear his intentions. She can't help but wonder what his reason is for keeping the pick. Is it even possible for him to have a better reason to keep hold of it?

She suddenly notices they are heading towards a hospital, and she feels nervous as they approach the entrance, but they walk past it. He is tense too now, she can feel it, and he guides her around the corner. He looks around suspiciously before he suddenly starts making his way up a fire escape, letting go of her hand. 

He does not speak, and neither does she. She follows him up the stairs, flight after flight until they are at the rooftop of the building. Rey feels a little dizzy as she looks down, and suddenly feels how he drags her to the side, and as she is about to protest, she feels how he puts his hand on her mouth. 

For a moment she panics. She feels like an idiot for trusting him. Is he going to hurt her now? Is he going to throw her off the roof? 

She is about to fight him, but then she suddenly notices the people who are standing near a door on top of the roof, smoking, and as she looks into the young man's eyes, she sees how he looks at her with an intense gaze, almost as though he is asking her if she will keep quiet. Only when she nods, does he let his hand drop again, and as they hide behind one of the airconditioning vents, they both keep their eyes on the pair of nurses that are smoking.

When they go through the door and disappear, he takes her hand again, and she is almost afraid to ask what they are doing. Are they breaking into the hospital? 

It appears that way, for he is a little jumpy as they sneak through the door, down a flight of stairs again. The lights in the hospital corridors are dimmed - not many staff is present now - and Rey's heart is beating loudly in her chest. 

When the man opens one of the doors and sneaks in, Rey thinks he's crazy. She can't fathom why he did not enter through the main entrance. Visiting hours are over, she knows that, but she has never known anyone to sneak into a hospital like him. 

She starts to fear suddenly that they're visiting his girlfriend - that he considers the pick to be hers instead of Rey's, and she feels incredibly jealous all of a sudden. 

When Kylo goes to the bed and turns on the little nightlight, Rey feels even more confused. It's not a girl - it's an old man. His head is wrapped in bandages and he appears to be asleep, though many machines are attached to him, showing his slow heartbeat and other vitals. 

She is more interested in the machines for a moment than she is in the patient, but she does look back when she sees the young man finally press the pick in the older man's hand. 

Frowning, she wonders why this old man would be worthier of the pick than she is. After all, he doesn't seem to be conscious at all, but then she recognizes something. A scar. On the older man's chin. For a moment she feels like she's hit by lightning. She takes a few steps closer and her mouth drops as she realizes who is in the bed before her.

It's Han Solo - former lead man of the Millennium Falcons - the original lead singer and guitarist - and she immediately knows that he is worthier of the pick than she will ever be. 

"Is he dying?" she whispers, her voice full of fear, and as she looks at the young man, her eyes plead with his to give her hope. 

His eyes are sad, guilty even, and she shakes her head. It just can't be. 

"He needs to wake up in the next day," the man replies, and suddenly Rey notices how there are tears in his eyes. "He suffered from a head trauma. Doctors don't give him long unless he wakes up."

For a moment, she hears how the man's voice breaks, and she fears he is about to cave completely when she sees how he clenches his fists and pierces his lips together, looking for strength. 

"It's my fault," he then adds emotionally. "We were fighting."

Rey wonders who this young man is to have fought Han Solo. Why would anyone fight Han Solo, of all band members? 

They suddenly hear voices in the corridor, and the man immediately turns off the light again, keeping quiet until the voices pass. Then he turns on the light once more. 

Rey notices the tears in his eyes as he suddenly leans over Han Solo and presses a kiss to his forehead. It is such a gentle gesture that Rey can't help but feel like they are close. Then it dawns on her. 

"You're Ben Solo," she whispers, and there is almost gratitude in his eyes as he looks at her, like he is glad that she knows him - if only from what she puzzled together from the interviews she read in her lifetime. 

She wonders if she truly knows him though. Ben Solo, the child of Han and Leia, born in 1989. She knows that his parents broke up in the late 90's, that Han's relationship with Ben was very difficult during his teenage years, and that Ben resented his father for being absent for most of his childhood. She can remember seeing pictures of Ben as a child. She remembers the pictures of the skinny boy with the massive ears. She thinks to herself that he looks nothing like that anymore. His ears are hidden behind thick locks of dark hair, but as she looks into his eyes, she still sees the boy. And he is frightened. He is about to lose his father, while Rey is about to lose one of her biggest idols. It's a loss she does not want to suffer, and she feels miserable. When she suddenly starts crying, he joins her, finally letting the tears flow freely.

She is by his side in mere moments, embracing him, and he wraps his arms around her as they both cry.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers to her. "I couldn't give you the pick."

"I know," she tries to shush him. "I know what he always said. He wanted to die on stage, with a guitar and a pick in his hand."

"I couldn't get him a guitar," he says emotionally, almost as though he can't possibly be a bigger failure than he already is, and Rey suddenly chuckles.

"If you had told me before, I would have gotten up on stage and dragged it out of Chewbacca's hands."

She is too emotional to realize how bad a joke it is, but then again, so is he. He chuckles none the less.

"You?" he questions her, and she knows he thinks she isn't strong enough for that. Honestly, she has to admit she isn't. Chewbacca is even taller than he is.

"Anything for Han Solo," Rey says softly, and she feels how his arms wrap a little tighter around her. 

They hear footsteps in the corridor again, and he dims the light immediately. They stand close to each other, listening until the coast is clear before the lights go on one final time.

He kisses his father's forehead again.

"I am so sorry," he whispers, nothing but guilt in his voice. "Please, father... Forgive me for what I did."

He can't say more, and Rey gently puts her hand on his shoulder before she steps closer to the bed and touches Han Solo's forearm. 

It's weird, seeing him like this. Even weirder, touching him. She never thought she'd see him in her lifetime. And now that he is in the same room as her, it feels surreal, especially considering the fact that he is hardly alive and weaker than she has ever seen him before.

"Mister Solo... Han," she says softly. "I know we've never met. I'm Rey. My parents met during your first ever concert in the UK. I was born many years later and they died much too soon. Don't die, please. I know that my parents would love to meet you and talk to you, but your son needs you more than they ever will. Please don't die. I don't want to say farewell before we've even properly met."

There are tears in her eyes, and like Ben has done before her, she leans over and presses a kiss to Han's forehead. 

As she steps back, she feels how Ben takes her hand and squeezes it. He turns off the light and they leave the room again, disappearing the way they came.   

 

They manage to leave the hospital the same way they came in. 

There is silence between them as they walk over the streets, their hands still linked. They don't even know where they are going. Neither of them can stop thinking about Han, and how crucial the next day will be. If things go wrong, they will be heartbroken by the end of the day. 

Rey is the first to talk.

"Ben... If you wish to have some company... If you wish to talk..."

His heart floods with gratitude at her gentle offer, and he can't help but wrap his hand a little firmer around hers. 

He realizes that without her, he would already have gone insane by now. 

"You're very kind. But please, call me Kylo - it's the name I took for myself as a teenager. Ben is... a name from another lifetime."

Rey doesn't know the full story about what happened. Any other day, she would have loved to hear it. Now she imagines that the story can only taste bitter.

"What happened?" she asks softly. 

He takes a deep breath and as they walk by a park, he gestures to one of the benches. 

They sit down in silence, bu don't let go of each other's hands. He turns to her before he begins to talk.

"After my parents broke up, my father invested even more time than usual in the band. I didn't see him for months in a row. I thought he hated me, and I started hating him in return. By the time I was fourteen, I banned him from my life. I did not want a father who would only see me a few times a year. It always felt like he was trying to win my affection with expensive gifts, and I hated the feeling of being bought. When he left the band five years ago, he reached out to me again and tried to apologize. I moved out of the States, hoping to avoid him still, but he visited. A lot. More than ever before." He is quiet for a moment, then sighs. 

Rey is looking at him with wide eyes, afraid to interrupt him.

"I realize now that he was looking for forgiveness - and I never gave it to him. He bought a penthouse in the city, so he could be closer to me. I live rather small - and he has felt annoyed by that. He says that he made his fortune for me as well as him, and that I should spend it, and that I should buy a house and live well. But I guess that I'm still angry with him. I won't spend his money for myself. I told him that yesterday. He got mad because I was so stubborn, and I got mad because he was stubborn too. We were outside his penthouse, on the rooftop, next to the empty swimming pool. I wanted to leave, he grabbed my arm to stop me, I punched him in the face, he stumbled, he fell..."

Kylo remained quiet for a while, a haunted gaze in his eyes as he stared off into the distance.

Rey did not want to imagine what he had seen precisely. It had to have been scary.

"So you called an ambulance?"

He nodded. "Straight away. I told them we had gotten into a fight - that I had punched him and he had fallen - I shouldn't have - that was stupid. Not only did the ambulance show up, so did the cops. I was in shock. I didn't realize straight away why the cops were there. I was stupid..." He moves his hand through his hair and Rey moves a little closer to him, wanting to support him. "The cops kept their distance because I was shaking and clearly not well, but I was beginning to realize why they were there. I asked to use the bathroom, knowing the cops were going to take me to their station. I escaped through the window and ran as fast as I could. I left a voicemail to my mom, explaining what had happened, then I tossed away my cell phone."

Rey frowns, not sure why he would do that. 

"Why?"

"They can track you that way," he explains. A deep sigh betrays how tired he is. Rey feels sorry for him.

But despite how sorry she feels for him, she can't keep herself from asking more questions. She wants to understand all of it.

"How did you know where your father was in the hospital?" she continues. "How did you know his condition was so severe?"

"I went up to the info desk to ask them this morning," he explains. "The lady at the reception immediately looked it up and told me, even explaining to me how to get to his room. But then security spotted me, realized cops were looking for me, and I had to run."

"And how did you get to the concert?" she wonders.

"I had the ticket in my wallet," he replies. "My father gave it to me yesterday - a few hours before we got into the fight. He wanted me to go with him to see the band."

"And you haven't gone home since the accident?" she wonders.

He shakes his head. "Don't think that's a good idea. It's the first place the cops will look for me."

Rey gets up from the bench, pulling him up along with her.

"Come on," she says softly. "I live one block away. You can crash at my place."

He feels his heart flutter in relief at the thought of not having to spend the night on the street. Even if it is warm and dry weather, he isn't particularly eager to add being homeless to his life experiences. "Is it wise though?" he asks carefully. "I don't want you to get in trouble for housing me. They'll think you an accomplice."

She chuckles. "Don't worry about that. If the cops do find out, I'll just tell them you seduced me at the concert."

She is surprised by how relieved she is to hear his dorky laugh. 

"The cops will never believe me to be any good at that," he laughs.

A wicked smirk spreads across Rey's face. "Best start practicing now then. Maybe you'll have the hang of it by the time the cops get to you."

Her tone is more inviting than it is challenging, and he feels his cheeks flush as he looks at her. 

Is it his imagination or is she giving him bedroom eyes?

 

Is her room so tiny or is he simply so large?

She has never asked questions about the size of her room - but now that he is standing in front of her shrine, looking down at the clippings, frames, LP's and CD's and other merchandise of the band, she thinks her little studio has to be the smallest in all of Bristol.

She can't even imagine what is going through his mind as he looks upon the pictures of his own father. And then he suddenly picks up one of the frames. 

"This is you," he says quietly, and Rey knows which picture he is holding.

It's one of the only pictures she has of herself and her parents, taken at Christmas when she was three. It has a spot at the center of the shrine - but now it's in his hands, and he lifts it gently to study it.

"It's one of the only pics I have of my parents," she admits, sitting down on the corner of the bed as she takes off her shoes. 

She wonders if he has realized already that she has no couch for him to sleep on. There's an armchair in front of her desk with a laptop, and she has another tiny table with one single chair besides it. Her bed isn't particularly wide either. She does not oppose the idea of him joining her, but realizes that he might prefer to sleep on the floor instead.

He looks around the tiny room and Rey wonders what is going through his mind. 

"You have many flowers," he suddenly says, and it takes Rey a while to realize that he is right. She has a small vase of flowers on her nightstand, another on the kitchen table, and even a bowl with plants and dried roses on top of the microwave. And then she realizes her entire window sill is full of plants as well.

"I suppose you're right," she admits sheepishly. "I work in a flower shop. Part-time." Afraid of being judged, she quickly babbles on. "It pays the bills. And I love plants."

He steps closer to the window and gazes out at the tiny balcony. Though it is dark, he can see the pots outside.

"And I grow my own vegetables," she adds hastily. "I've even had strawberries from my balcony this year."

As she looks at his face, she realizes that he is smiling as he looks outside. 

"You need a bigger balcony," he remarks. "There's hardly enough room on it for two people. Someone with your love for plants needs a garden." 

It is as though he realizes how stupid it is to say such a thing to someone who is doing the best they can with the money they earn, and he adds: "Not that I have a much bigger balcony than you do... But if you want, I can buy some pots and ground. I have a decent amount of sunlight during the day. My balcony is on the south side. You can grow whatever you want."

Rey is stunned. He is basically inviting her to grow plants at his place. 

"Well... If you'll help me eat all the vegetables..." she tries carefully, wondering how he will respond to it.

When he turns and looks at her, there is a warm smile on his face, and she feels her stomach twist a little - though not in a bad way.

"Gladly."

He smiles shyly, then looks around for a place to sit. As his eyes fall on Rey, she pats the empty spot on the bed beside her, moving over a little even if there is no reason for it. There's plenty of room for him to sit.

"Where do you work?" she wonders curiously. "What do you do?"

He licks his lips before he begins talking. "I never did great in school. Even though I loved reading, I had no real patience or talent for studying. But I did manage to get a certificate as a librarian. So when I moved here about five years ago, I intended to apply to the library, but they had no empty spots to fill. So I did the first sensible thing that popped into my mind..."

As he pauses for a moment, Rey smiles warmly.

"What was that?"

He grins. "I went to the mayor's house to ask him for a favor."

Rey's mouth drops, surprised by his audacity. "Mayor Snoke?" she wonders.

He nods. "The very same. He offered me a job straight away."

"At the library?" Rey wonders.

"No, something that I suppose is even better. At his own place. A personal assistant of sorts - one of several, actually." He is rather excited to tell her, and sits on the edge of the bed, gesturing enthusiastically with his hands. "He has this massive library himself. He collects ancient art and the hallways in his mansion are just fantastic, like you're walking in a museum. It's all old relics. He even has a room filled with items from World War two - and there is a Spitfire in his garden!"

At that word, Rey frowns, and Kylo is quick to pick up on it. 

"It's one of the aeroplanes the British used during the war. It can't fly anymore, obviously, but it's incredible."

"I knew he was rich," Rey admits. "I just didn't know he was that rich."

"I know, right?" Kylo says with a big grin. "He's a great boss to have. At this moment he's on holiday for a month or so. Even asked me along, but I declined. Hux and Phasma went, they're his other assistants. But I'm already spending so much time with them all year, it felt better to take some time off. Besides, I don't like to bask in Snoke's wealth. He has offered me a raise so many times, but I keep on declining it. It's not like I need the money, and I just want to live a simple life. Not like my dad. At least Snoke respects that."

"Does he know?" Rey wonders. "Who your family is, I mean."

He nods immediately. "I told him when we met. He was intrigued by it, especially by my mother's career. I think it's thanks to her that he trusted me so quickly."

"What does he have you do?" she asks curiously. 

"Well, he has his own private library. He had me index it - that took some months. He is having me estimate his value for his ancient books as well as his collection of artwork. He often has visitors coming over, and he has me guide them around. He has this little thing he does..." He leans a little closer to her and lowers his voice as he continues. "He lets everyone who visits him wait for an hour. I know he does it on purpose, he does it all the time, saying he's very busy. And in the meanwhile whoever is visiting him has no choice but to admire his collection. I'm usually around to answer questions. You wouldn't believe what famous politicians I've seen in the past years. He even let the prime minister wait. Not for an hour, but at least for twenty minutes."

Rey laughs, finding it hard to imagine. Snoke sounds like an even bigger git than she already imagined him to be. She has never liked politicians before, and she doubts she can start to like them now. But because it seems like Snoke is good to Kylo, she remains quiet. 

He notices her silence, and it is as though it encourages him to change the subject. 

"I have to thank you for letting me stay here," he says softly. "I can't even begin to express how grateful I am that I don't have to spend the night on the street."

"You can stay here as long as you like," she offers, taking his hand and feeling both relieved and surprised because he wraps his fingers around hers so quickly. "I wish I had more to give. I know I don't have much..." She pauses for a moment as she tries to find the right words to invite him in her bed, afraid he is going to get the wrong idea if she does not word it carefully. She gulps before she says: "You can share my bed if you like. I don't mind. It should be comfortable enough."

He hesitates, then says: "I can sleep on the floor if you don't want me to. It's a small bed."

"I don't mind," she repeats herself, her voice strict now. 

He nods, looking a little confused, and Rey continues: "I think I have a spare shirt that fits you. You're able to get into a large, aren't you? You can wear it for sleeping."

He looks a little more relaxed as she offers that, and nods quickly. 

She gets up to check her small dresser, looking at the bottom plank for the shirts she never really wears. When she finds the shirt, she hands it to him, and he chuckles when he realizes what it is. 

"Why do you have a large male shirt of Chewbacca in your closet?" 

She knows he is teasing her and chuckles, blushing as she realizes how awkward the situation must be to him. 

"I liked the design. I wore it as a night shirt for a while. They didn't have any smaller sizes."

"It's perfect," he assures her. 

"I will use the bathroom first," she says as she gets up again, avoiding his gaze. "You can use it after. I want to take a shower."

He nods obediently, and Rey feels humbled by how well-behaved he sits there and waits for her permission before he does anything. 

"I'll try and be fast," she promises him. "Feel free to take something to drink or snack from the fridge if you want to. See you soon."

 

He can't miss the irony of the situation he's in. His entire life he has tried to forget where he comes from, only to fall for a girl who loves where he comes from more than he ever has. 

As he looks at her, he realizes how deeply he has fallen already.

She's no longer wearing the band shirt - or the earrings. Her hair is loose and wet from the shower she just took, and the makeup is gone too. It doesn't make her any less beautiful, perhaps the opposite. 

He tries not to stare at her legs as she walks by him in nothing more than a beige tank top and matching shorts. 

For some reason, he keeps on telling himself that he does not know her - like saying that to himself will stop the growing affection inside of him - but it doesn't. Not at all. 

He excuses himself and heads into the tiny bathroom. She has already put a large towel on the side of the sink for him, as well as a cheap, but brand-new tooth brush. He reminds himself to thank her later. She is very considerate, and his affection for her only grows because of it. 

When he emerges from the tiny bathroom fifteen minutes later, he is wearing the shirt she borrowed him, as well as his boxer-shorts. He has left the rest of his clothes in the bathroom and does not dare to look at her, though he feels that her eyes are on him as he makes his way towards the bed she is sitting in. 

She immediately puts the book she has in her lap away and moves under the sheets, lifting them up so he can join her. 

He fears the bed will break under their combined weight as he lays down, and one leg is almost dangling off the side of the bed. He does not dare to move closer though. 

"Kylo?"

He loves the sound of his name on her lips, and he turns his head to hers, seeing how she is looking at him. 

"You should move a little closer. You're not even taking up half the bed. You're going to fall out."

He knows she's right, but that doesn't stop his blush as he scoots over a few inches. 

"I was thinking..." she continues softly, leaning over him to turn off the little night light, and he doesn't dare to breathe as she leans her hand on his chest for a moment. "And I know there's no way to say this without it sounding wrong, and please believe me when I say that isn't how I intend it, but if one of us holds onto the other, we'll both be way more comfortable than when we try our hardest not to touch. That's simply impossible."

He feels the heat rise in his cheeks and certain other body parts he wishes he could ignore as easily, but he does understand what she is trying to say. 

"I get it. And you're right," he agrees with her. "But are you sure you don't want me on the floor instead?"

"I'm sure."

She moves even closer to him and puts one hand underneath her head and the other on his waist, and he slowly does the same, his heart beating in his chest like he has never slept with a girl before. He tries to look at her in the darkness of the room, and as his eyes get used to the lack of light, he notices that she is looking at him as well.

"Oh... Thank you for the tooth brush, by the way," he says awkwardly, and he can see her lips curl up into a smile. 

"I wish I could offer you more comfort," she says a little sadly, and he immediately shakes his head.

"Don't say that. This is perfect. I am indebted to you. I don't know anyone else who would do this for a stranger."

She is still smiling at him, and he can't help but return that smile. 

"I feel like I've known you for much longer than just a few hours..." she says softly.

"It was quite an eventful night," he admits. "I think I told you more about myself than I have told anyone else in the past decade. I forgot how satisfying it could be to make new friends."

He holds his breath as he feels how she puts her hands on his cheeks, then moves closer to him, pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead. 

Honestly, he is a bit relieved that she does not kiss him on the mouth. As much as he adores her, he does not want to head into a relationship in his current situation. He knows that if his father dies, he is truly a murderer, and he does not want her to suffer through everything that would bring along. The thought that he might go to jail terrifies him, and he finds himself wrapping his arms further around her, hugging her close. 

But even worse than the thought that he might go to jail, is the thought of his father dying by his hand. How can he ever live with himself if things end badly? He can't stop the tears that roll down his cheeks, and holds Rey in the hope she doesn't notice. 

But it does not take long for his unrest to grow even worse. Perhaps it is the darkness and silence in the room that darkens his thoughts so much, and he can't hide it from her, even if he wants to.

She holds him, shushes him, kisses his forehead over and over, and while one part of him feels nothing but misery, the other part feels gratitude, and he does not know what to say to thank Rey. She is a beacon of hope to him, and he clings to her, finding that holding her small frame relieves some of his tension and fear. 

It takes him ages to calm down, and even longer to fall asleep. Rey is stroking his hair with one hand and rubbing his back with the other, and only when she realizes he has truly dozed off, does she allow herself the same.

 

He doesn't eat in the morning, and this worries Rey. 

He sits in the one chair by her kitchen table, still wearing the shirt she gave him and his boxers, staring at the wall. The tea in front of him is going cold, and Rey excuses herself while she heads to the bathroom. 

When she returns fifteen minutes later, it appears that he has not moved, and she touches his shoulder, startling him as she does so. 

He looks up at her and offers her a smile, but his eyes look pained. He then excuses himself, and as he leaves the room, Rey sighs to herself and pours his tea in the sink. 

She knows that this day holds the power to change his entire life - in a horrible way. She doesn't know what to say to cheer him up, and doesn't mind that he spends so long in the shower. She figures that he is probably trying to drown himself.

When he enters her room again, he is wearing his black hoodie again and his black pants. His hands are in his pockets and he looks awkward, not sure if he's allowed to sit in her chair again. 

"I was thinking," Rey begins. "I can go into the hospital and check up on your father. I can pretend to be his housekeeper. I mean... he probably has a housekeeper, doesn't he?"

Kylo nods, and Rey is glad for it.

"They shouldn't ask any questions about that. I can go and see if there is a doctor there that can tell me more about how he is doing."

From the way he looks at her, she fears for a moment that she has done or said something wrong. He seems to be frozen as he looks at her, then suddenly he begins to smile, though his eyes are still incredibly sad and there are tears in his eyes. 

"I think it's amazing you would do that for me," he admits softly. "I can't begin to thank you."

She smiles at him. "No need for thanks. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I will help you. Do you want to stay here while I go to the hospital?"

"I'll walk with you," he says immediately. "Sitting here will drive me mad. I need an occupation, and I'm less likely to break down when I'm in public."

She grabs her bag, then holds out her hand, waiting for him. He takes it without hesitation, and she wonders if it's bad of her that she feels butterflies in her stomach at a time like this. 

 

As he sits on a bench in the park near the hospital, he forbids himself to look behind him. 

If he does, he can see the hospital and anyone emerging from it. But he honestly does not want to see it. He is too terrified. 

He knows that if Rey has bad news, he'll be able to tell it from her expression long before she reaches him. He does not want to hear any bad news until she is close enough to touch. He imagines that she is the only one who can keep him from breaking down completely if the news to come is as dreadful as he fears.

He is tense as he waits and stares ahead. He catches himself praying a few times - even if he usually never does - even while he doubts anyone is listening.  

Hours pass, and for a moment he even fears that Rey has run off - that she is never coming back. Perhaps his father is dead now, and she is not ready to face a murderer. The thought alone hurts him, and he blinks away tears a few times. Guilt is eating at him, and it's the most horrible feeling he has experienced in his lifetime. Once again he prays - this time for Rey to remain by his side, even if his father dies. 

"Ben..."

He startles at the sound of the voice behind him. It's not Rey's, but it's a woman, familiar, and she sounds very worried. 

He turns around immediately, seeing how it's his mother who's standing there, looking tired but relieved at the same time, and as he notices that Rey is standing behind her, smiling, he feels relief flood through him.

He begins to smile as well, hoping that the hope he feels growing in his chest isn't going to be crushed, and luckily Rey says what he needs to hear.

"Your father is alright. Woke up an hour ago."

He can't stop grinning now, though tears of relief stream down his face. He immediately goes to his mother and embraces her, and she squeezes him tightly. 

"When I heard your voicemail, I came as soon as I could."

As they embraced, Kylo closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, mom."

"It's alright. Han told me what happened. You were both being stubborn, from what I could tell. You get that from him, you know."

"From you too," he jokes through his tears, and as he opens his eyes, he looks at Rey, who is still smiling. 

"Han wants to see you," Leia continues, letting go of her son. "Don't worry. We sent the security away and already informed the cops that we're not pressing charges or anything of the sort. When I arrived this morning, I learned that they were looking for you. I was so terrified." 

"As was I."

He looks at Rey, who is still standing there, smiling, and notices that his mother turns towards her as well. 

"Rey pretended to be Han's housekeeper. Didn't last for long when Han suddenly woke up. I have to say that I almost bought the story though."

"Almost?" Rey asks teasingly. 

Leia chuckles. "Let's just say you could have a career in politics if you so desired."

Kylo walks over to Rey and hugs her tightly, too grateful to say anything for a few moments. 

She hugs him back, but seeks some distance after a few moments, saying: "You should go and see your father now. He will need to rest soon."

Kylo nods, but frowns at the same time. "You're not coming along?"

She shakes her head and he notices how she dodges his gaze as she speaks. "I have no business mingling in your family's affairs... As interesting as those may be. You should talk to your father. You don't need my help for that."

He realizes that she is right, but that doesn't make it less terrifying to say goodbye to her. 

"Can I see you again?" he asks immediately, and he hates himself for not being able to hide the tone of despair in his voice.

"Of course!" she replies eagerly, and she looks at him now, smiling widely. "You know where I live... Right?"

He grins. "How could I forget?"

She can't hide her blush from him, and stands on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his cheek. 

"Then drop by whenever you like..." She takes a step backward as she smiles at him, then offers a nod goodbye to Leia, who returns it.

When she turns around and walks away, Kylo feels a little faint, as though the separation hurts him physically. He tries to forget about it the moment his mother takes his arm.

"She's a nice girl, Ben... I see why you like her."

He hopes his mother doesn't see him blush, but fears it's already too late for that.

 

Rey is anxious as she sits at home and waits.

After three days, she has yet to hear from Kylo, and she fears for a moment that she has misinterpreted everything. While she can't deny her very deep feelings for him, she considers the possibility that he has already forgotten her. The thought hurts. 

That evening, she puts on the shirt he wore when he was with her. It still smells of him, and it's a miserable consolation to the ache in her heart. Sometimes she does not mind wallowing in self-pity. She just would never admit it to anyone. 

She is already in bed, reading before going to sleep, when she hears a knock on the door. Her heart suddenly starts racing as she realizes who it may be and she immediately gets up, nearly stumbling over her shoes as they lie on the floor.

When she opens the door, she is a little out of breath, and she grins when she sees Kylo in the hallway. He is looking a little anxious, but there's a small smile on his face and a small gift in his hands, wrapped up with a big red ribbon around it. She wants to hug him, but the gift is in the way, and so she does nothing as he offers it to her. 

"A little something for all your troubles," he says, and Rey fears for a moment that this is it - that it's _only_ this - that he just wants to give her the gift and then head off again. 

She realizes that she probably isn't girlfriend material to him. She has nothing - and she is obsessed with his father's band. She has to be too creepy to him to even consider dating, and she tries to hide her disappointment as she unwraps the ribbon and opens the box. There's a card in there, with a flower-design on it and "Thank you" written on the front, but when she opens it, her heart jumps a little.

The first thing she notices are guitar picks, each single guitar pick signed by a different member of the band - and there's even one signed by Han Solo himself.

She starts crying from joy, realizing that her parents would be so happy to see this gift, and through her tears she notices that there's more. There are tickets - a lot of them - and as she realizes there are two train tickets to London in there, she suddenly also notices that there are two more concert tickets in there, and for a moment she is too confused to think about what it means.

"If you want," Kylo starts shyly. "We can go to London together? The Millennium Falcons are performing there on Sunday. Last performance before they head back to the States. I figured it was the least I could do, after I made you miss their encores..."

She is too emotional to speak, tears streaming down her face, and as he steps forward to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, she does not hesitate before she closes the distance between them and hugs him tight.

"Thank you," she whispers emotionally, and she feels how he squeezes her tightly and then lifts her up. 

"No, thank you," he replies softly. "You can never know how much your kindness meant to me. And to my family. My father and mother have been unable to stop talking about you."

Rey suddenly chuckles, amused by those words.

"Really?"

He gently puts her down again, and as he looks at her, he smiles shyly.

"I think they want me to take you home..."

Rey gulps, but she's unable to stop grinning at the same time. 

"Really?" she asks again, finding the thought that Han Solo and Leia Organa are interested in her a little absurd, yet very flattering.

"Well, not right now," he assures her awkwardly, and as he looks inside her little studio, she realizes that he wants to come in. 

"Of course!" she says quickly, stepping to the side so he can enter. "Come on in!"

She puts his gift on her kitchen table and when she looks at him, she notices that he's looking at her shirt. 

"I thought that was my shirt now," he says teasingly, and she grins because of it. 

"Well... If you want it, you can come and get it..."

His dorky laugh echoes through her studio, but he does approach her - though it's rather carefully as he wraps his arms around her. 

"I still doubt the cops would ever believe that I managed to seduce you..."

She can't stop grinning as she looks at his lips. He hardly needs to do anything at all to lure her in. Even if he does not realize it, she is drawn to him - was so from the moment she saw him. 

When she finally leans in and kisses him, she is glad that he returns the kiss, holding her so tightly that she can barely breathe as their lips move over one another. She is certain that she is going to collapse from the excitement of kissing him if he lets go of her, and luckily for her he doesn't. 

"Cops are idiots," Rey mutters against his lips. "Besides, I don't mind having you to myself."

He chuckles. "Consider me all yours then. For as long as you'll have me."

Even though he's smiling, she hears the sincerity in his tone, and her heart melts as she looks at him. 

There is only one thing she can reply: "Forever, then."

 


End file.
